January has been such a long month. I feel like it's never going to end and I'm just going to be stuck in this frustrating little set of 31 days forever. Of course that is me being overdramatic but it isn't helping that after a great end to my 2017, the beginning of 2018 has been slow and lonely. It sort of feels like everyone is moving on to big, amazing things, like uni or jobs or volunteer programs and I'm not moving at all. I'm just stationary and struggling to get a positive response from my CV. I guess I did have my fun September to December, but why can't this gap year continue to be fun?
On top of that, a brief visit back to school meant I was asked the dreaded question of "So what are you up to at the moment?" about twenty times. And although I had some exciting plans to tell, they're not for a while, and possibly not set-in-stone plans. I think for the first time I'm understanding the concept of January Blues. I want so many things to be happening and they all take time to make happen, but I don't seem to have the patience for said time. Maybe it's a cause of growing up in an instant modern world. You want everything to be quick and simple and right in front of you as soon as you conceive an idea, but unfortunately it's not like that.
There isn't much of January left, thank goodness, and February is one of my favourite months, not least because it is the month of my birthday, but it also tends to feel like the actual start of a new year, as opposed to the trial run of this month. More excitingly, by February I will have a lot of developed photos from the past couple of festive months which means actually posting some interesting stuff. Recently I just haven't known what to write and I've been trying to keep up with the many things I want to pursue, from photography to music.
I am immensely proud of the people around me doing great things, but right now I just wish I felt like one of them.
But all in good time.
Here's to a better February.
G.
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Friday 26 January 2018
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Diary
