Growing up my mum always instilled in me a love of light. Every new house we moved to had to have lots of light and big windows. At a younger age I didn't realise how important it was to me too, but now I find that just the simple act of walking into a naturally lit room can lift my entire mood and being, until I feel motivated and a strong sense of happiness.
Similarly, I find that, as much as I love shoes, I will always prefer to be barefoot in my house, or in the garden, or on stage on that rare occasion, because I feel connected to my home and my ground, and in a way it makes that idea of remaining grounded literal.
This past week I haven't felt right. It started off well and I was working and social and embracing my body and mind, but reaching the end of it my entire spark and work flow has gone. I don't love my figure and my mindset is completely distorted as I feel grubby and used from the overthinking as the stress of the past few weeks sets in. I can see it in my clothes, my skin and my hair. Spots are taking over the centre of my face and I don't want to wear anything even slightly tight-fitting. I need to wash my hair yet it remains in the same doubled over bun as usual. It's not so much a slobby-ness that I've taken on but more a sleepless-ness, or if it were possible, the ability to oversleep myself into a haze of dissatisfaction and lack of motivation. I've lost my light, as it were.
Despite it being a busy final exam season, and in the midst of the last four a level exams of life, I'm hoping, I think that I need to reconnect to myself. Normally, I am not one to dwell on hippy life-stylings but since the only inspiring things of my past week have been learning about holistic healings and internal fitness on hbfit.com, I think I need to take some much-needed time to reclaim my being.
My diet has been completely off whack, mainly due to The Revision Diet, as I am calling it, which consists of water and smoothies for a couple of days and then five whole days of peaked sugar levels and some cheese and coffee somewhere in there. Clearly, it is not balanced whatsoever, and therefore you can understand the extent of my skin issues, as a dermatologist would not be proud of my internal caring for my skin at the moment. I can feel it causing itchy dry skin on my body, and greasy, blemished skin on my face, and it's time to just sort myself out because I know in the long run, and through exam time, it'll benefit me.
After my resit exam tomorrow, I know I need to get back to my scheduled body programming. Reconnect to my groundings. Reclaim the light that I haven't stepped into in a while.
Love myself a bit more.
G.
Image: Tumblr
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Sunday 4 June 2017
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Diary
