Over easter I spent two weeks feeling indecisive and lost, yet so determined at the same time to discover what was right for me. Everybody had said that I would just wake up one morning and know what I wanted, and despite rolling my eyes and assuming that was utter rubbish, they were all right. I opened my eyes, I reminded myself of what was important, and I knew I had made my choice. This description could cover a lot of ground; a wide range of things. For me, the most obvious one would be my university decision, but also realising that I had undeveloped passions, which have been neglected for too long, that I want to progress,.
It was almost as though I had partaken in an intensive course on self-discovery. Like the courses where you can learn to drive and pass in a week, but for the mind and soul. I'm not someone to preach about importance of auras but I do see sense in staying grounded and patient, and letting the world offer you what you need. Those things you want, however, you have to work for. The world won't hand you those.
I've come to realise that I was spending too much time weighing up pros and cons as well as setting my mind completely on one ambition, instead of letting the two go hand in hand. I learned that I don't just want to do one thing, or live in one place, or ever limit myself in such a way that I don't feel driven. Although it may not have been the best two weeks in terms of revision, I became aware of what I actually wanted, which is rare for someone as indecisive as me.
Originally, I wasn't too sure what to write about when wanting to post, and I don't want to come across too proclaim-y. But this is a mental note to myself to remember that some decisions can't be made in a split second. The bigger, more future-affecting ones take a lot more time and perseverance, because sometimes there is a plan, and it's just about letting it come to you.
Always trust your intuition.
G.
Image: Tumblr
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Wednesday 3 May 2017
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Diary
