My first full-time-job pay slip. A favourite coffee shop. Understanding how to navigate central London. A bus journey that stops just at my house. Discovering the usefulness of podcasts on public transport in rush hour traffic. My first gap year month has gone by, not always so quickly, and these are the bullet points of independence and living alone(-ish) that I have accomplished so far. And of course not forgetting that I've had to become a cat person, despite also discovering that I am allergic to such animals.
I still have lonely days and evenings where I want to cry because I can't make a joke with my brother or sister, that I know only they would understand. I can't speak French with a terrible accent to deliberately wind up my dad and I don't get to stand in the kitchen with my mum, updating her on the life and times of my friends and our Millennial issues.
But in spite of all that, I'd say I'm adjusting, like everyone leaving home for the first time is right now. That small list of new things feels like an indicator of my new-found loneliness. And I don't mean a melancholic loneliness, just the process of learning how to be alone and feeling like a new city is slowly but surely becoming your home, even if it is only for three months.
It's those small details during each day that form a routine and make me realise that actually I quite like it here, like my walk to work in the morning, which although freezing, is usually sunny and crisp and makes me want to wear a load of autumn clothes and buy a cup of coffee before reaching the office. So even though I'm scared of it all, there are some silver linings in learning to be an adult.
G.
Photos: @georvxa
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Thursday 21 September 2017
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Diary
